Thursday, April 29, 2004

Earl "The Curl" Miller

He was the guy that every girl wanted but I was taken and never really paid much attention to him. Smooth skin, nice round bald head, and amazing eyes. All the girls swooned over his eyes but I was into his smooth bald head. He only attended the school his senior year and graduated a year before I did.

Senior year came and I am suddenly single. Earl's friend Craig was the DJ for a school dance and he brought Earl with him. Earl had moved down to San Diego after graduation. So we are just shooting the shit or whatever. We all go out to lunch and when lunch is over, we head to the record shop. Right before we walk into the door Craig says , "You have to pretend like you are one our girlfriends." I look around grab Earl's hand and walk into the store. We wen to buy the 12 inch of Groove Theory's "Tell Me". I give Earl a ride home and there is an awkward moment when Earl and I realize that we are feeling each other but we don't act on it.

Valentines/Black Celebration rolls around and he is back on campus. I see Craig and he says "Earl is looking for you." I didn't really know why. So he come to the Valentine's dance and he is there with his ex girlfriend Lorena who just couldn't be happy with her Mexican heritage and wanted to be black very badly. I see him we dance shoot the shit and that's it.

Sunday morning rolls around and my mom is like "Some guy name Earl called you." "Mom, what did you tell him?" "I told him to call you back." I'm trying to figure out how he got my number. So I wait and try to play it cool. I mean Earl they guy every girl wanted was trying to talk to the kid. I sat and tried to figure out who would have given him the number.

He calls back and asks me to the prom. I'm like cool that is settled and I got a really good looking one at that. So word gets out that I am going to the prom with Earl. No one could be believe it. I guess I wasn't popular enough and/or pretty enough to pull Earl. They were also shocked that he would come up from San Diego for me. So then I started to figure out that Earl had messed with quite a few girls. Chicks I didn't know was coming up to me like, "Tell that nigga earl to give me the ring my momma gave me." "Ask him if he still has that picture cuz I want it back."

So three months passed of girl making complete fools of themselves for me. We used to talk on the phone as he rang up customers at Target. I thought that was sweet. Prom day comes and my sister goes to pick him up from Craig's house because I was driving to Prom. He come in the door and I am trying to figure out who he is. He has the worst s-curl that I had ever seen. It didn't turn into greasy nap balls but it was more Little Richardesque. I was very upset because my fine ass prom date had and s-curl. I was almost brought to tears but I remember that I was going to prom with Earl Miller and that I was the most hated girl in school. It's fun being hated.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Giving Back

Yesterday I went that God awful place Chipotle. I don't know why I keep going there but I do. So as I wait in line there is a black and a white guy in front of me. They are having a conversation and the black guy is trying to explain the greatness of Rep. J.C. Watts. So as he is talking he is explaing to the white guy how it is imparative that black people give back to the community. So they get up the front of the line and it became painfully obvious that the black guy had never been to Chipotle before. He was confused and it became a big spectical as he salivated over which items he could put in his burrito shell.

Meanwhile he begins to scratch intensely. He starts off slowly but it gets so bad he begins to expose his back. From there I can see the massive chalk lines he is creating upon his back. I pictured ashy flakes flying from his back over the glass into the barbacoa. After all of the commotion I finally got my food and sat down. I was concerned for this brother. So I began to write on a napkin "you wouldn't be scratching if you used lotion. go home immediately and have your girlfriend/wife lotion you up." I wanted to at least assume that he was with someone. I was trying to give back the community. I started to give it to him but then I remember he was with yt. I couldn't let him go out like that in front of yt, even if he had the ape scratch down.