Friday, December 27, 2002
Oh you don't celebrate Christmas? Really you do just might not be celebrating the birth of Jesus Christmas! I love this time of year mostly because I enjoy watching the History Channel. They have many specials on Jesus. I enjoy these because they put in a historical and not a religous form. I am a believer in good people and everything that uplifts people. Recently I am just a person is satisfied with any positive and is for the greater good. I know longer get involved to religous rituals other than prayer. I will still go to church with my family because there is nothing wrong with that. What could go wrong is that if I use that to hate others, feel superior, or to not think for myself.
I am at home in Los Angeles and well things are reall different. My mother has lost all of her hair from cancer. It is really weird but I try not to focus on that. My cousin has moved in with my mom because she has a baby. Yesterday the baby thought it would be fun to throw up on me. Also I shot myself with my neices allergy needle. So now I have a whole on both sides of my thumb. If went from my palm through my thumbnail. Sick isn't it?
Thursday, December 05, 2002
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I celebrate a time to be thankful with friends and family. I do not celebrate the massacre of Native American tribes. Honestly how many people even think about that? This was the first thanksgiving in two years that I spent with my family. I went to Atlanta to see some cousins that I had not seen in years. We all had a truly warm, fun, and grand weekend. In the south they seem to be real big on playing cards so there were endless amounts of spades games on going. Now I am not one for cards or dominoes because black people are super competitive and you might get cut if you don't play well. Since they were short one person for spades I had to play. My cousin spent the entire night talking shit and because I was his partner, I was a little nervous. Well we sort of ran everyone off the table. I was better than I thought and as the night went on I figured out some actual strategies. Then I did the most awful thing. I threw out the wrong card and they caught me. It was an accident. You RENIGGED! You RENIGGED! Who thought of this term? It is highly comical when you are in the moment. People yelling and screaming. They take that shit seriously.
Friday I went out to Atlanta's Buckhead district. This is where all the bars and clubs are. We went into this place called the World Bar. This is one of the most ghetto clubs I have been to.....well ever. It was a little better than some of those Oakland clubs because it was bigger. There was nothing but bootyshaking and grinding going on. So the Britney Spears/Aaliyah/Missy dancer in me had to perform. So there I was sweat dripping, thighs shaking, ass bouncin' having a good ol' time. Now really, under normal circumstances I would have left because I got in free. I didn't want to be the party pooper though. So I just got into the spirit and let my body move. I sort of felt intimidated because girls in Atlanta have some big asses. My ass is currently on shrink mode. I hung with them though. I pride myself on fitting in just about anywhere.
Saturday it was off to the Talib Kweli show with Okayplayer dirtydee. Dude is mad cool and he is originally from Inglewood. Kweli always keeps it hype you know! This is also where I found my crush of the month DJ Chaps from the Long Island 12 Inch Assasains. He was the DJ for Kweli. Kweli put on an awesome set and he reminds me why I love hip hop.
I have this friend that I got to know online. We met in person but because he was leaving the country we commuted for about 2 yrs or through email only. You have heard about this guy before haven't you? Well on Sunday we just chilled talking to each from noon to midnight. It was truly a wonderful feeling. That is what I needed for the weekend. Although I choose to live far away from my friends and family it was nice to be around them. My cousins were cooler than I thought and G pretty much made me a happy little lady. I can talk to him about anything and he keeps it real. Real intelligent. We don't sugar coat and I love that about our relationship. It was truly a peaceful time for me to remember what friends and family are all about. So yesterday I call up a bunch of my friend and some of my family. Remember who loves you.
p.s. If you are in a bad mood downland By myself from the Yin Yang Twins. That song is gauranteed to get you "crunk" for real.
Saturday, November 23, 2002
Welcome back the friendly land of the blog. Well so far DC hasn't proven to be that adventureous. Normally I would have gotten into all kinds of trouble by now but I think I have been playing it really low key. So what has happen lately well not much of anything.
The No No No of the week:
Santi White, she is a very talented song writer but I must say no to her Black Rock Girl singing. I thought my ears were going to bleed at any moment. Me and my girl are still lauging about this.
The Yes Yes Yes of the week:
Once again this goes to Jergens' Skin Smoothing Lotion for Extra Dry Skin. It keeps me touchably soft.
The What the hell just happened of the week:
This goes to my love life. The man of my life that I left behind came to visit and get his girl back. He got her. I was shocked and elated at this turn of events. I didn't know that I would but after 36 hours of deliberations(much longer than the O.J. trial) I decided to give love a chance.
The how urban unsavvy of you of the week:
This goes to my beloved Capricorn roomate. She left $100 worth of paint and paint supplies on our back porch and some one politely walked off with them. We live in DC people. She gets the greastest thrill from telling people we were robbed. She is so cute.
The how urban unsavvy of me of the week:
Obviously this goes to me. DC has hella rats/mice. So we think there might have been one hanging out on our kitchen counter the other day. I could not participate in the antics that were, get the mouse from under the stove. In LA you have to be pretty damn nasty or have nasty neighbors to have rodents in your house. The east coast is a different beast. During the winter rodents come inside of the houses because it's warmer than being outside living in our trash cans. They aren't that stupid, or at least it is instinct. They get a two for one because there is food inside.
Thursday, November 07, 2002
Last year on valentines day I went to Atlanta to visit a friend. At the time I was with Ajay and it didn't seem so wrong then. He's not into V-day and it is just an excuse for me to act like princess and prance around. I didn't plan to go to ATL on v-day but it just happened to coincide with President's Day weekend. So now looking back I feel that was big mistake. I went to visit/stay with a male friend on v-day weekend. Could I have done anything more suspect? Some people live life without regrets but I am not one of those people. There are hundreds fo moments that I would do over again. I forget how my actions look to others. I am the most well intentioned person ever but sometimes, often, I live in my world of reality. I have finally come to grips with the idea that if I prance around in front of a heterosexual (hell a ghey boy even) in my thong underwear he is going to want to fuck me. Now that seems so logical to the rest of the world but someone how I thought I was expempt from that.
Thinking back again I realize how much I thought that I control the world or that the world revolves around me. I realize that I am not Superwoman but I am a super woman. So I just have to have the wisdom to know the difference. I'm so fuckin' cool now it's not funny. People call to tell me their problems and the advice I give is all based on me having been in similar situations but acting in an unrealistic manner. So now I'm much smarter and wiser. I *heart* me.
Tuesday, November 05, 2002
I never felt that phrase was so true until two weeks ago. I participated in a very large antiwar protest, protesting the preemptive strikes on Iraq. There were anywhere from 80,000 to 200,000 by some estimates. The most poignant speaker was actress Susan Sarandon, well of course she is one of the highest contributing tax payers. Her speech consisted of a series of questions that she would ask the President if given a chance.
Honestly I can’t understand the logic behind preemptive strikes on Iraq. What I believe the US government is saying that we have to strike first and take out any threats. They are doing it in the name of security and protection. I cannot see how that will provide any protection to American citizens. Sadaam Hussein is no angel but I believe he wants to protect his monetary interest in oil. We also have a big stake in the procurement of petroleum because it is a major energy source for the United States. If we lose our oil the entire area of Orange County, CA will cease to exist. So the big bank hanks in Orange County are the type of people who are invested monetarily for oil, whether they are conscious of it or not.
Nothing good came come of a war with Iraq. I feel very vulnerable right now. I know that there are many people who wish to cause harm to citizens of the US so that we know what it feels to live in a war zone. Terrorism is not born of people who play for sport. It is what happens when people feel desperate because they have been betrayed. If we attack Iraq the terrorist cells here and elsewhere will attack again. I feel like my government is betraying me because they fail to think further than their own interest. Most Americans want to feel protected and a preemptive strike is a way to make people feel that way. I am just not sure that I see the benefits.
I see another Vietnam coming on because we do not have support from our allies. Saudi Arabia said today that we could not use their military bases for strikes against Iraq. We want to be the world police but we have a corrupt police force. There is so much documented throughout history about how our government lies to us and who knows how many covert missions take place so that we can remain an economic powerhouse. It is weird for me to say this while outright enjoying life at the expense of others.
The way to solve these problems is the same way we can solve racism in this country. Those who benefit from the corrupt systems have to give up our privileges to make life better from others. When this will happen, the world may never know. Although Dr. Harry Edwards says that change only comes from catastrophe. I wonder how big of a catastrophic event it would take for real change to happen? Are you prepared to give something up? Of course this is over simplified because I am not writing a book right now, maybe later.
So I marched that day and listened to great speakers. I came home thinking that it would be on the news and that everyone who had not been there would see that people weren’t just blinding following Bush but, it was minimally covered. I felt I participated in something great and hopefully at least one person was touched to think critically about the situation.
History Fact that I learned this week:
President Lyndon Johnson and Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara told the public that the North Vietnamese attacked a US ship in international waters with out being provoked. As a result the Congress gave the President power to declare war on Vietnam. However this was all a lie, they invented this attack in order to go to war. The ship was not in international waters and it was on a spy mission. No torpedos were launched at American targets. This info will forever make me a skeptic and cynical.
This weeks music tidbit: Goapele is a very talented singer from Oakland, CA. I had the pleasure of hearing her sing at a political rally over two years ago. Her vocal skills are superb, she has great sense of style, y es muy guapa . Unfortunately, I moved to the east coast and lost track of her because she was not yet on a label. In April I found out that she released an album but I was spelling her name wrong (Guapale, guapa means pretty in Spainish and I thought it seemed to fit her) all this time but alas I found her on the front page of Groovenation. So everyone enjoy the sounds of Goapele. Buy an album and a t-shirt even, I did.
6 degrees of TV seperation:
On the Real World New York season 10 there was a guy who was in the cast and his name was Malik. Ironically he went to UC Berkeley and his appearance is very striking and I always noticed him. In one episode his friend Namane comes to visit him. Namane is also a DJ in Oakland and I thought he was the most handsome thing I had ever seen. I once saw him DJ for this girl name Guapale. Namane is Guapale’s brother. They should have pimped Malik’s TV moment and put Guapale on Arista. This is TV seperation because I don’t know any of these people.
Thursday, October 31, 2002
I'm sort of upset right now because Jam Master Jay the DJ for Run DMC was shot to death last night. It's weird because it makes me see how long hip-hop has been around. At one time it was feel good and though they were sort of "hard core" there was not this massive misogony and materialism going on in the music. Like back then they wore Addidas and stuff like that because it was cool looking not because of the pric. What's worse is that today's generation has no idea about the music when it was still fun and skill based. So I can say yesterday a hip-hop legend died. To me Tupac and Biggie were not legends because they did not leave a legacy, this guy did.
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
Not Stevie, not Marvin, he's like real soulful ummm errr umm? Donnie Hathway. Yes Donny Hathway that's him. Last week I hung out with this pretty cool chica that my friend introduced me to. After having some lovely french toast at the Diner we decided to hit up this Wednesday night gig after that. We go down there and it's about 8:30 and it is empty. These two guys tell us that they are playing the music of Bilal (Bee-lal) and "The greatest R&B singer ever," Donny Hathaway. So we thought that might be intresting so at the least we would come back a little later to see what was taking place. We come back to find out it's not Donny Hathaway it is Donnie. His music was cool but it sounded freakishly like Jeremiah, my old roomate, but everyone sounds like him to me these days. So the chica and I pick a spot on the couch and well we never move. Since at that time the sniper had not been caught the two guys that we had met earlier decided they didn't want to sit in front of the window anymore and they joined us on the couch. It seems as if the chica was left with the dork. The guy that sat next to me was this Ethiopian brother that was made cool. He has travelled extensively around the U.S. and the rest of the world. We had a good conversation and I hadn't had a good one like that with a male in a while. Twas quite refreshing. This is supposed to be DC adventures right but I haven't really got into many. So maybe tonight or this weekend I can have something much more lively to talk about.
I'm coming out (but in my own time)
I think I accidentally let the cat out fo the bag about someone's Lesbian tendencies to my mother. I thought it was common knowledge but I guess she wasn't fully out to everyone. I feel really bad and I prayed like I never prayed before that my mother doesn't go and tell other people. I truly made an ass out of me and well this could not be a good thing for her. So if this gets out I apologize in advance. I don't know what it is like to have to explain yourself to people who would never truly understand. For that I am truly sorry. Stab me with a fork please.
Monday, October 21, 2002
1 apple cider and rum + some alcohol coffee concoction + 3 vodka cranberries + 2 jack and cokes= Aisha is so hung over the next day. I didn't really feel it that night but the next morning I couldn't hold anything down. The problem was that I was so hungry and I wanted to continue to eat despite the fact I would just throw it up. I managed to stop myself from eating most of the day though. It was interesting to say the least. I can't imagine people doing this every weekend but it was an experience I needed. How else am I supposed to explain to my children not to do this or that if I have never done it myself? You see I am a future thinker.
Yesterday I had so many things to say but alas I forgot them all now that I am sober!
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
This DC thing seems really cool. What is weird is that I haven't met that many people yet but I seem to have a full schedule all of the time. With yoga twice a week and then Thursday night happy hour and Saturday night antics then I seem to be busy. I'm interested though in meeting some folks of color. I just haven't found time to do so.
I have also been sick for over a week and well I'm tired of it. So on saturday night we walked down to Adams Morgan to go to Madam's Organ. I am such a light weight that after having two drinks at home and two more drinks while we were out it was safe to say that with one more drink I would be under the table. Randomly some guys come to talk to us and we find out that they went to Ohio State which has way more people than Berkeley. My roomate went to Ohio State so she just started talking to them. As the night went on and they ran out of cigarettes to smoke they started bartering with other people. Somehow they got onto the topic of music and the song "Summertime" came on. Not Gershwin's version but I think it was a version by LEM or Smashmouth, I forget who sings it. So then the drunk dude starts singing the Will Smith version and so the conversation turns "How many other songs named "Summertime" can we name?" Now that's only what drunk people do. So they say to the boy, "Do you know that song "Summertime" by the Lost Boyz?" Now he wants to know who the Lost Boyz are. He admits he mostly listens to country. So they go off on the boy saying "You don't the Lost Boyz or Mr. Cheese?" (umm rachel honeny it's Mr. Cheeks!) Puzzled that he didn't know I thought they might pound on him any moment. I was worried for the poor fat boyz safety. The Ithaca twins were going to jump him because he hadn' heard of the Lost Boyz. Now your average radio listener doesn't even know who the Lost Boyz are(were) so it was safe to say that this guy wouldn't.
Now let's talk about Bamas. I have heard this term thrown around for quite sometime and I finally met a BAMA. Soon as he opened his mouth the term BAMA was clarified. He was one of the dumbest guys that I ever came into contact with. That's all I have to say about this subject. Bama is a reference to one with country (Alabama) ways. It has now grown to classify anyone who is socially inept just plain stupid.
Tuesday, October 08, 2002
Monday, October 07, 2002
Do you remember that song from hip-hop's hey day? I think it was EPMD, Erick and Parrish Making Dollars, and I must say that was a mighty stupid name for a group. The point is that I have installed comments so that it makes it easier for people to write to me about this without emailing. So ask questions but remember everyone else can see them too.
I'm still breaking out from cat hair attacks and well maybe it isn't cat hair? Well for the record we will just say it is and the cats will stay gone. My roomate Cheryl is great! She made cornbread for me and it was sooo yummy and I don't think she used jiffy!
My new thing for right now is Bikram Yoga. This is where they heat up the room to 100 degrees and you then do a series of 26 postures. It feels so good to sweat this much and honestly I can feel my body changing only after a week. I sit up much straighter and I feel muscles working. It's kind of expensive though but so long as I am blessed to afford it I will keep doing it. I was also going to buy a bike but then someone then told me that Rock Creek National Park which is right next to my house is the place where Chandra Levy's (Gary Condit's Intern's) body was found. That's what's cool about my place, I am not to far from most things. There are more convenient neighborhoods but you pay convenience prices. The downside is that I lay awake late a night mostly because it's too noisy outside. There are so many crickets that make it hard for me to sleep. I feel like I am in the woods.
But what about Ajay? I miss him a lot especially because we were so close. Although we got on each others's nerves constantly I can say that if there was one person who was there for me without a doubt it would be him. Is he still going to be that for me? Does he want to be?
Friday, October 04, 2002
I had yet another bad dream. I think it was because of the $1.75 piss, I mean coronas, that I drank last night. In the dream I am at my mother's house just chillin and the door bell rings. It's my father and he has three little girls with him ages 5,3, and 2. I ask him whose kids are these and he replies, "These are your sisters." I went off calling my dad everything from a slut to dishonest. Mostly I just felt threatened because I am a daddy's girl and I am his only child. I don't mind sharing my mother with my sisters. my niece and every other weird combonation of people you can imagine, but this was MY daddy. I was crying because I felt like I was losing my father because these kids were not going to take his attention away for me. The other thing that I was pissed about in the dream is that he hid it from me. One of the little girls was 5 so he was hiding this big secret from me. I was also was thinking that how could be be so irresponsible as to have kids at age 59 (oh wait in the dream he corrected me to remind me that he was 54 when the first daughter was born!). Never once did I ever ask if he was happy about it. I was irate and felt threatened. It was weird and I play it cool with everyone except significant others (fatal flaw). I wish some people could have been there because I have never been that upset about anything in real life. So now it's up to me to interpert it. My dreams always mean something or are preminissions. So I hope it's the former because I don't thin I could deal with the later.
Part II: Do I really dislike black men who date blondes?
Now I have done a small bit of hating on this type of thing but it's so hypcritical for me to do so. I date outside of my race but only because I feel that good guys come in all flavors so why not taste the rainbow. I have no agenda and there is not a bit of black man hatred in me. However I am slightly bothered by black men who date idiot white girls. That is clearly my issue not theirs. Now I can't tell they are idiots just by looking at them but I do recognize that some black men date white women for the control factor and that is the part I hate.
Last night I went to a "white people bar" with my roomates. It was really fun as the night went on. The first two hours dragged on but after a while I was in my groove. So in walks a black guy white his white girlfriend. I smiled and spoke and we made room at our table for them . Immediately he starts screaming at the DJ to play "P.Diddy". I look at the DJ's computer screen to let him know that some hip-hop is coming up shortly. So when the top 40 hip-hop starts playing he gets on the dance floor with his girl. They then start dancing with other people. So I am dancing with some different people and I guess my booty shaking catches his eye. He is now fixiated on me and he is sitting in a chair staring at me saying "Damn look at that ass that mami has on her! Ummm huh Ms. Blue shirt." So it was clearly directed towards me. A little later he starts dancing with me but he's trying to do it on the low. But with the way I dance I like to connect with the people and get our rhythms in tune. Meanwhile I see his girl dancing with some other guy and it appears as if smooching is the item on the menu. So the brotha starts dancing next to me but I'm already dancing with 2 people but hey I can juggle in a third. Well his girlfriend didn't like this and she came and dragged him off into another room. What's funny about it is that I try to becareful with people who I know are with other people. I never approach them and if I dance close with them I try and make sure that our gentials are not thrusting upon one another. Was she threatened by me? maybe? obviously? He was commenting on "the junk" the whole night so I can see what the problem was. My only issue is that if I was her I would have felt very disrespected. He was oogling other women in her face. So this is the part of black men -white women relationship I dislike. It's the power thing. I guess I am a relationship purist. I never have alterior motives I only date for serious reasons cuz dating is time consuming and I don't like to have my time wasted. It really really funny because everyone noticed the sequence of events so basically she was embarrased.
Thursday, October 03, 2002
I really doubt that anyone will read this but this is the new place to get updated on my life. Well I expect DC Adventures to be just as crazy as the orignal Boston version. The added plus is that I can stop clogging up your inboxes and you can check here as often as you wish. Now there is only one thing you have to agree to don't forward this link to my mother and no two-way paging my pops about this. I'm going to try and leave this as uncensorded as possible but you know....i can be a bit sarcastic, judgemental of first impressions (although you always get to make a 2nd), and sexually explicit as the boys in ATL know! (No really I am a good person-i think to myself)
Lesson I: Have an allergy test just for the hell of it
I have found a pretty good house in DC. I like the roomates so far and the neighborhood was just what I needed. I needed something where I would not be come too "bourgie" and continually disconnected from my peeps. It's in the Mt. Pleasant area and it's on the boder of crickets and crime. I'm in an area that is near the National Park so there are crickets galore but if you go just a few blocks south it's the Latino Headquarters and it's kinda sketchy. Now i'm not implying that Latinos are criminals but what I am implying is their are pupuseria's galore! What are pupusas? Well that is what google is for. I ride the bus and there are new arrivals, hippies, and investment bankers all meshing together as one. There are mixed opinions on Mt. Pleasant but so far it is cool for me. For example:
Person 1: Where do you live?
Me: Mt. Pleasant
Person 1: Watch out or you might get shot (c) some random rap song that i can't recall at the moment
Person 1: Where do you live?
Me: Mt. Pleasant
Person 1: I would love to live there it's so beautiful.
Of course I have to be safe wherever I am in DC because it isn't as safe as Boston. Just check the news to find out about the shooting spree in Maryland. For those of you who failed geography DC is in between Maryland and Virginia and you can't think DC with thinking MD and VA. That's the other thing I don't have a congressperson. Not that I would ever write him or her but just to know that I have one would be a nice feeling.
For some reason LA, whether it be the eastside or compton, is so much safer than percieved because everyone drives. But what does this have to do with allergies you ask? Not really a damn thing but I will get to that in a minute.
Now the house has two cats and low and behold (wtf does that mean anyway) I find out that I am allergic. Even as I type there is a big red knot growing on my head. It's safe to say that I won't be getting any phone numbers at happy hour tonight. So the two roomates C and S are not thrilled with the cats either after they ate our pizza and then threw up the cheese on C's white rug. I showed H (the one with the cats) my hives and she tried to act like they were not that bad. So C and S told her to keep the cats out of the common areas. H threw a hissy fit and now the cats have disappeared. See here I go starting drama already. But I don't really give a damn because she is moving out anyway. The problem still remains because there is cat hair everywhere!
There is just so much to partake of in DC but I have to remember Boston felt the same way at first. The difference is that there are black people galore who have money and own things. That sounds like a dumb ass statement but trust me it matters. Black folks didn't own a damn thing in Boston. They used to do these things called "The Friendly Takeover" where they would send out an email to a black networking group to show up a bar and they would just chill and get them to play some our CDs. I never attended one but I am now realizing how absurd the concept is. We are unwelcomed guest so we try to take temporary ownership of their shit. That is so fucking ridiculous we need to own something. But again I digress.
Not that I really care who I kick it with, rememeber color sensebility is all that matters, but my interest happen to conincidence with most blacks folks interest. Mainly music, I like music made by black people not the majority of it. I'm not talking about the stuff you hear on the radio but I like black music. (note the term black music has no true meaning but you get the point). I just like a city doesn't cater to only one type of crowd. DC has a little something for everyone. I say little because compared to NYC it is just a little something but it is just what I need for now. There is also a good arts scence. For instance Carmen Jones starring Vannessa L. Willilams is playing in November we would never get such a thing is Boston! I'm an urban girl and I need an urban world. Not ghetto, not easty, but urban.
And for the consistenly most asked question. But what about Ajay? Well we are just friends for now. I wish things could be different but they aren't. It is really for the best. And if you are reading this know that you still have my heart and my hand :)