Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Operation Stunna Shades

This week I have been trying an experiment. I bought some sunglasses that are more glamourous than I am. They aren't expensive but they have that star quality eventhough I purchased them in Rocky Mount, NC. They have been nicknamed my "Stunna Shades". Don't know what a stunna is...well think about David Blaine the stunt artist. Why does he do all those crazy things? Just to show off. So for this spring and summer i'm a Stunna and "i'm bout to show off".

I've been trying to reduce the number of people who feel it is okay to randomly talk to me. First I tried headphones but my hair is so big they never realize that I have headphones on. I don't like people thinking I really can't hear them because that's how people get attacked and purses stolen.

This week I started Operation "Stunna Shades". I'm testing the hypothesis that wearing these sunglasses makes me look unaproachable and less men will aproach me. It's Wednesday and the only thing that has happened is a hiss which was ignored because when you have Stunna Shades it means you can't hear it. Also the first day I didn't wear them in the metro but I noticed that other women do. So I started wearing them in the metro but it feels weird because it's kind of dark down there and they aren't needed to block the sun anymore. However, If I want to maximize the effect of Operation Stunna Shades I have to wear them whenever I am outside my home which includes the metro. Yesterday I even read my Metro free paper with the Stunna Shades on. However, the point of the Stunna Shades is make people think that you have lost all your senses as soon as the glasses go on. So I guess I can't read on the train or it negates the point of my operation. I'm going to continue to keep track of this especially as the big, bulky, winter clothing comes off.

Since Operation Stunna Shades is going so well I don't have a "How not holla." Sadly, something much worse happened today. I went to work pretty late today so there were plenty of seats on the metro. I rarely sit down because I only go two stops. I sat down today and a short porty man in his signature red and black TGIF friday uniform moves towards the pole near me. There were plenty of other places to stand or sit but he chose to stand right in front of me. I previously had been staring at the floor but when he got close I rose my head up to eye level. At eye level, I noticed that he was tenting, he had a hard on. At that moment I was secretly hoping that my Stunna Shades truly did turn off all my senses

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Finally I have returned...

I wrote a couple of posts that disappeared into the blogger graveyard. I'm sure they were both funny, witty and fabulous but I have no idea what they were. Only thing I really remember is the "How not to holla" that happened to me two weeks ago. In summary I was told "I'm so happy to be able to stand next to you."

Now for the more current events! I am working with a group on the HIV/AIDS epidemic in DC. Today we held a discussion group about social factors that lead to HIV. There was this group of men from a community based organization there. A few of them were in my group and we had a lively discussion. One in particular J had the Gary Dourdan look. His arms were very muscular and they accented his tattoo just right. So after the formal discussion I asked them where they were from. They were all currently in a drug treatment program. *record scratch*.

I know this is pretty ignorant of me but I completely buy into the stereotype about drug users who have problems serious enough to warrant enrolling into a program. I'm basically reminded the drooling crack head who tried to kiss me 4 years ago. There were no outward signs that they were in drug treatment program and I would have never figured out they were former users if I hadn't asked. All the points they were making were on point and I learned a few things about drug and gun policy from them.

So after that knowledge I looked at J differently. I shouldn't have been looking that hard to be begin with. I started looking at his arms to see if there were track marks. I can get a little out of control with my stereotypes. As he was leaving he reminded me that his phone number was on his sign in sheet. I giggled to myself.

I needed the reminder about not judging a book by its cover as this is something I am really struggling with right now. I'm trying to make more authentic contact with people who aren't like me. I think I can learn a lot and get over some of the "isms" I hold.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Blogger ate my last two post. So I'll be back with something after this business trip. Toodles!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Today in Sports

I just returned from the Wizards vs. Warriors game. My old boss from two years ago called me to let me know that if I was available that a friend and I could join him in his company's box. Being new to Washington, I took the chance to go and see my new favorite team live. I wasn't going to pass it up. I called a few of my guy friends that I knew were sports fans but they weren't available. Then I remembered that G was from Oakland and of course he would be down to see the Warriors.

Sitting in the box was great. Someone had already set it out with hotdogs, salad, chips and chicken finger. Well that's really not settin' out but you know, free is free! It was unfortunate that this was my vegetarian week and I got side tracked already by the chicken fingers. Then "The Giant", 7 ft 7in, Gheorghe Muresan stopped by to hang with us for a second. I got to catch up with G and J and that was great. You know how I like to talk.

Just when we thought the game is over with just .1 seconds and down three points the wizards draw a foul. It was a pretty uneventful game but we now had a chance to tie the game. Then the coach for the Warriors said something that caused a technical. With this turn of events Agent Zero was able to come through in the clutch to shoot 3 free throws to win the game. The crowd went wild! In other news my boo boo got a couple of fouls in the first five minutes so he wasn't really in the game too much.

Now for the Faux Pas of the game:

They start playing Rich Boy's "Throw some D's" and I comment how the NBA can play the popular hip hop songs but then blame hip hop for everything that's wrong. G listens to underground hip hop so he doens't know who Rich Boy is. So I say "Well it's really funny because he looks like he has Down Syndrome." Then I quickly remember that there are two kids sitting in the box with us who have Down Syndrome. Add one to the loss column for me.

The "How not to holla" of the day:
I got behind schedule and I ended up driving the mile to the Verizon Center because I knew I could get my gym to validate my parking. Now today is the first time in a long time that I have worn my hair down. I guess I was looking extra fabulous or something (well this is what I'm telling myself). I luck up and get a parking space on the street one block from the arena. I get out the car and this dude is sitting on the hydrant and I think I hear him say "Wow you got lucky." I thought he was talking about my parking space. I turn around and say "Yeah I'm really lucky." He replies "Yeah your man sho' is lucky." Then I snapped out of my parking mojo induced haze and realize he's commenting on me.

I keep walking and start to wonder how efficient his process is. I am very well aware that some men play the numbers game. Talk to as many women as possible hoping one will bite. If you are going to talk to women on the street don't talk to the ones who are walking fast. Based on the law of averages she's in a hurry and not going to stop to speak to you. We are even less likely to speak to the guy sitting on the fire hydrant in front of Fuddruckers. I've said it once and I'll say it again. There are some people who are just not on my level. Give them a shower and a job sure but in thier current state it's not going to happen.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Comment Comment Comment

I want us all to say NO to white tights! After being away from DC for two years I forgot how truly fashioned challenged people are. I see way too many adult women in white tights and stockings. It's really ugly and sad on top of it all. If you are my friend and you own white tights please say goodbye to them or I will have to say goodbye to you. I only hang with fly people. I'm err umm kidding...maybe.

I'm also trying to figure out exactly how this type of pose protects your hair from the rain. Yesterday the rain came a bit earlier than expected and a few people were caught off gaurd. I saw various black women running from the rain in this pose. If I were them I would have caught a cab or walked into the CVS they just passed and got a cheap umbrella. I remember what it was like to make sure your hair stayed on point.

Now what do these things have in common? Usually nothing but at the gym this white blonde woman with bone straight hair was combing her hair with a afropic. It was the oddest things I had seen in a very long time. She didn't have a sign of kink so I wanted to inquire about her choice.