Thursday, November 07, 2002

Hindsight is a mutha

Last year on valentines day I went to Atlanta to visit a friend. At the time I was with Ajay and it didn't seem so wrong then. He's not into V-day and it is just an excuse for me to act like princess and prance around. I didn't plan to go to ATL on v-day but it just happened to coincide with President's Day weekend. So now looking back I feel that was big mistake. I went to visit/stay with a male friend on v-day weekend. Could I have done anything more suspect? Some people live life without regrets but I am not one of those people. There are hundreds fo moments that I would do over again. I forget how my actions look to others. I am the most well intentioned person ever but sometimes, often, I live in my world of reality. I have finally come to grips with the idea that if I prance around in front of a heterosexual (hell a ghey boy even) in my thong underwear he is going to want to fuck me. Now that seems so logical to the rest of the world but someone how I thought I was expempt from that.

Thinking back again I realize how much I thought that I control the world or that the world revolves around me. I realize that I am not Superwoman but I am a super woman. So I just have to have the wisdom to know the difference. I'm so fuckin' cool now it's not funny. People call to tell me their problems and the advice I give is all based on me having been in similar situations but acting in an unrealistic manner. So now I'm much smarter and wiser. I *heart* me.

No comments: