Wednesday, March 17, 2004

On my way home on the Green line last night round about 9:30 I get to Gallery Place and the lights go off and the train shuts down. Next thing I know I see everyone run down the the platform towards the front of the train uncluding 7 metro police officers.
"Attention Customers we will be holding here because of a police situation."

I sit on the train for about 5 minutes and then get off to try and take the long way home on the Red Line. As I am going up the escalator the train comes back on so I run the escaltor and run back down on the otherside. I barely escape death by chime with the doors.

So cool we gonna get going. We ride into the tunnell and the train stops. So I notice that there are 6 or so Metro police officers in the car in front of me. They open up one of the doors and hop off. So we sit there for another few minutes.

So passengers are restless and one in particular. Big Black African Bernie Mac. He's got on a red, white and blue Knicks cap and the rest of the fit to match with dark sun glasses. He sounds just like the "Suck you Muthasucka" dude from Comic View.

"Dammit, fuck you muthafuckin' police situation. I got to get home to my lady." He says this about 3 times. It just so happens that he is sitting right next to the intercom button. He presses it and begins to shout into it.

"Fuck your police situation. I got to get home and make love to my lady."
"Sir we are having an emergency and this is not the time."

The intercom light goes off and he continues to complain. He presses the intercom like 8 more times but she continually cuts it off. We eventually start moving and the old man next to me starts talking to me but he smells of coffee, cigarettes, and day old crotch. I'm thinking I have only 2.5 stops to go. There was .5 due to the fact that we are still in the tunnel. We eventually start moving again and I figure things are all good.

I get to my stop and stand up so I am much closer to Big Black African Bernie Mac's colorful ass. So I notice that he is talking to this girl that is sitting in front of him. I hear her say "I'm in highschool." He says, "You mean like like senior highschool," he pauses. "Well that's not like too young you at least eighteen isn't you ?"

I gave her a look of horror and proceeded to take my tired as home.

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