Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Operation Stunna Shades

This week I have been trying an experiment. I bought some sunglasses that are more glamourous than I am. They aren't expensive but they have that star quality eventhough I purchased them in Rocky Mount, NC. They have been nicknamed my "Stunna Shades". Don't know what a stunna is...well think about David Blaine the stunt artist. Why does he do all those crazy things? Just to show off. So for this spring and summer i'm a Stunna and "i'm bout to show off".

I've been trying to reduce the number of people who feel it is okay to randomly talk to me. First I tried headphones but my hair is so big they never realize that I have headphones on. I don't like people thinking I really can't hear them because that's how people get attacked and purses stolen.

This week I started Operation "Stunna Shades". I'm testing the hypothesis that wearing these sunglasses makes me look unaproachable and less men will aproach me. It's Wednesday and the only thing that has happened is a hiss which was ignored because when you have Stunna Shades it means you can't hear it. Also the first day I didn't wear them in the metro but I noticed that other women do. So I started wearing them in the metro but it feels weird because it's kind of dark down there and they aren't needed to block the sun anymore. However, If I want to maximize the effect of Operation Stunna Shades I have to wear them whenever I am outside my home which includes the metro. Yesterday I even read my Metro free paper with the Stunna Shades on. However, the point of the Stunna Shades is make people think that you have lost all your senses as soon as the glasses go on. So I guess I can't read on the train or it negates the point of my operation. I'm going to continue to keep track of this especially as the big, bulky, winter clothing comes off.

Since Operation Stunna Shades is going so well I don't have a "How not holla." Sadly, something much worse happened today. I went to work pretty late today so there were plenty of seats on the metro. I rarely sit down because I only go two stops. I sat down today and a short porty man in his signature red and black TGIF friday uniform moves towards the pole near me. There were plenty of other places to stand or sit but he chose to stand right in front of me. I previously had been staring at the floor but when he got close I rose my head up to eye level. At eye level, I noticed that he was tenting, he had a hard on. At that moment I was secretly hoping that my Stunna Shades truly did turn off all my senses


A Well Destined Child said...

LAMO...this was a good story.

Good luck with the stunnas...I had mine on this weekend (I mean...being that I'm from Oakland, it's to be expected that I have a couple pair right?) and I swear I feel like a different person with em' on.

I also wear them as I'm walking to and from work and I LOVE it! Nothin like walking down the street with business clothes on with the STUNNAS!

A Beautiful Life said...

I have a friend who puts her stunna shades on when she doesn't feel like being bothered. Stunna shades mean don't talk to her. It even counts for her girls, not just guys trying to talk to her.

rashad said...

to alleviate the problem of random folk talking to you, you have to keep your headphones on AND look like you're trying to find another song(assuming you have an ipod). that way if they are talking, you can ignore them, because clearly you are distracted

LittleTortilla stays in DC said...

Rashad, I wish that would have worked. "So what song are you going to put on next?" said the guy who was standing uncomfortably too close to me. I tried to ignore him but standing that close I needed get him to back up off me at the least. They just don't have boundaries man and instead breathe down my shoulder. It's not about ignoring people really. I want them to cease and desist.