Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Right now my face is all sorts of tones, patches, scales and flakes. I’m not sure what is going on. I’m feeling ugly for the first time in my life. A lot of people have self esteem issues and will never feel beautiful on the outside. I usually feel beautiful on the outside but not right now. I basically look like I haven’t washed my face or can’t afford moisturizer or something. So no matter how fly my outfit is, it just doesn’t matter when you have a crusty face. I’m going to the doctor tomorrow so hopefully they will do something about it.

I think my fiercely dry skin is giving a certain class of men a little confidence. My percentage of hollas from the “I wear a fake NorthFace bomber jacket no matter the weather crowd” has increased about 70%. They are probably wearing T-Skirts under them too. I don’t care what people say…I am very out of their league. The normal professional dude hollas have disappeared.

I’m kind of a classist in some respects but I try my hardest to at least be friendly to everyone. Although I pegged him for the purse snatching type, I made the mistake of having a musical discussion with a guy on the train platform the other day. I was just being friendly I thought. I didn’t see that he would try to “get to know me better” by the end of the conversation. . I couldn’t convince him that he didn’t want to know me so I gave him my home phone number. I never answer the phone.

A week passes and I use my home phone to call GEICO to change my insurance. I hung up with them and the phone was still in my hand and it rings again. So I answer it. It’s him. He starts talking to me and I’m like who is this since he never asked to speak to anyone. He said he was looking for Isabel and I told him he had the wrong number. He insisted that he really didn’t know my name but he knew it was me because of the way I talk. I tried damn hard to get him to hang up but I ended up hanging on him. The phone rings over and over but we don’t have caller id so I have to assume it was him. After two hours of calling he finally left a message asking me to call him back.. I wouldn’t have done that anyway but I couldn’t because I don’t have his number.

I need to learn to be firmer but I’ve seen dudes do some terrible things to girls for giving out fake numbers etc. Some men get their egos bruised so easily. This morning I saw and example of what I was supposed to do. I guy tried to talk to a girl when she didn’t respond he tapped her arm. She said “Don’t touch me” in a firm voice and kept it moving. I’ll try that next time.


rashad said...

It sounds like someone needs to holler at some rum and cake..And the best way to ward off dudes is to get on your cellphone..even if you're underground, act like its a verizon phone and talk on it anyway. i do it to avoid people i don't want to talk to all the time

beautifullife00 said...

I understand how you feel about the whole classist thing. I find myself saying things like "that's ghetto" or "that's hood."

I'm sure you still look beautiful!