I let a white coworker try to tell me that Diana's famous song is "I'm coming UP". Here is your answer JM.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdKeGAoWEg8

I love the Internet

I woke up in the middle of night and I realized that missed Obama's speech. What the hell? Such a historic moment and I missed it. Well thank god MSNBC has the whole thing.

In other news I woke up at 6 am and it's pitch fucking black outside. The crickets are still chirping. I'm not sure I will make it in this basement apartment. From bay windows to only one window that lets light in. I curse B every time. However, I'm going to probably be cursing everyday when he leaves his clothing in the middle of the floor everyday.

The End of an Era

So Cheryl aka Shurrryl moved to Arizona last week. I'm not sad as it was probably time for us to seperate. She wanted to leave DC and I'm beginning am in transition in my life. So no more spontenous barbeques, drunken walks to Ben's and not stopping each other from eating Taco Bell.

So this week I am moving into my last apartment as a single woman. It's for 6 months. Don't ask me why because I'm kind of sick of answering that particular question. I am that's it. I'm moving to a part of town that is very different from every other place I've lived in DC. While I am not that far from the metro I'm much further than I've ever been. It's also an area that doesn't have many small businesses. Therefore I won't really be walking for late night runs to anything. While I could get along as many people do without my car. It will be much easier to just get in the car and ride to Popeyes. That's one thing that I will hate. My options for convient healthy eating have gone down. Well I am only moving a mile away but things get sparse on this side. It's pretty sad. 

Dear Barack Obama Supporters,

I would like to inform you of why I am voting for your candidate. I'm voting for him because he is a Democrat and he's Black. When it came to the primary I voted (well i was going to vote) for Obama because Hillary and Bill were playing dirty. If you go to the the various websites that track voting history Obama and Hillary are barely indistinguishable. I also would have voted for Obama because he's been in politics for less time than Hillary. It means that he hasn't made as many back door deals. He hasn't been out there playing the politics game for that long. It was obvious that Hillary had "bought" many of the black Dems along the way and now they are mad they put their money on the establishment. Obama has made deals, he just doesn't owe as many people as she does. Also I'm voting for him because he's Black. I cast a vote for Jesse in the Girl Scout mock election in 1988 because he was Black. Well times haven't changed that much and I am going to ahead cast my vote for Black again Why not ? People vote based on race everyday. I think anyone voting for change hasn't thought about it really hard. We have a government that is slow and has three branches. Although in the Bush presidency he's wielded the power of the executive very heavily, I doubt Obama will be doing the same.

Signed,

Aisha

P.S. Of course Edwards cheated I knew that from the first day I saw him. He's a young, politician, rich, good looking with a $400 haircut and a great smile. Uh Duh.

It's been a long time...

Yesterday I attended yet another bachelorette party. I'm really warming up to them. Obviously I can't talk about what happened but there is one story I must tell. When I arrived at the hotel, I was in the elevator with two guys. We made small talk and they made jokes about coming to the bachelorette party. They exited on the 6th floor...6th Floor Boys. Later on the bachelorette party attendees were banished to the lobby so that when the stripper arrived. I guess word got to the 6th floor that there were 20 fine ass ladies in the lobby. There was not a single ugg mugg among us. Next thing I know there are lots of men in the lobby including the guys I was previously on the elevator with. I made small chat and they said they were at the liquor store with me earlier as well.

When the ladies are asked to returned to the suite, somehow 4 of us are on the elevator with the 6th Floor Boys. So apparently I had been to the liquor store and now to the in the elevator twice. So they start making jokes about being our pre-entertainment. One lifts up his shirt and I had a couple of ones in my hand so I decided to stick it in the waist of his pants. Well what I didn't count on is that he didn't have on underwear. I didn't really look as I reached in and there it was, pubic hair. Here I am essentially grabbing the pubic hairs of a strange. An accident but typical Aisha.

It's here....

I found a Wii in Providence, RI. So for the last 6 months I've been casually looking for a Wii. I'm so glad I found it. 

Bummer

So some asshole stole my bike wheel again. I'm so pissed. This time they used bolt cutters to take it in broad daylight from one of the busiest intersections of the city. So that's another $80 plus I need to buy a heavy duty lock.

Then I was walking from the Metro and this guy said "girl i'm glad your pants are too tight." So he implied that he was happy that I decided to squeeze myself into this pair of pants for his viewing pleasure. Like I was one of those tacky DC girls who sports a constant muffin top an booty about to split the pants. The thing was that my pants weren't tight. In fact when I put them on I thought about how they were finally the perfect fit and were no longer too snug. But the hell with him I lost another 2.6 lbs for a total of 16.4. I'm only .4 lbs away from being able to say. I've lost 10% of myself. Awesome. I'm going to celebrate next week with sushi.

So this week someone stole my front while. What a downer. But my boo is taking care of it for me. He rocks.

In other news my weight loss is still continuing. Yesterday I was wearing this dress and I swear there was a little midget following me. That's because since my waist is getting smaller it's making my lower body that much more prominent. Also in a dress the hind parts are able to run around freely. It's such a catch 22.

...and today we have turkey burgers
i don't measure for this so here we go

1 lb ground turkey
Worcestershire Sauce
Dijon Mustard
chopped Chives
1 egg for binding
Grill Seasoning
Salt

This works best in a grill pan.
They look so pretty.

Making Easy Food sound Fancy


So let's talk today about frittata. According to wikipedia.com:

"frittata is a type of Italian omelette that frequently features fillings such as meats, cheeses, and vegetables. Like a traditional French omelette, a frittata is prepared in a skillet. However, whereas an omelette is cooked on a stovetop and served folded, a frittata is first partially cooked on a stovetop but then finished under the grill (broiler) and served open-faced."

So essentially it's a non folded omelette by another name. So let's talk about how to make a frittata.

The essentials: Eggs, milk, cheese salt and pepper
The optionals: ham, turkey, onion, spinach, bacon, tomato..... whatever you like in your omelettes

How to:
Preheat oven to 375
Whisk 6 eggs and two egg whites in a bowl with 1/4 cup of milk.
Preheat a 10 inch ovenproof skillet on medium heat.
Add some oil (any type will do even nonstick spray)
Add your "optionals" and cook them
Add the egg mixture over the "optionals"
Let the frittta "set up"....wait until the sides look firm but the top still jiggles
At that point put it in the oven for 5 minutes
Remembering that the handle is hot, take it out and sprinkle cheese on top
Put back in the oven until the cheese has melted
Remov from oven and let rest for 2 minutes
Cut, Serve, Enjoy

My Life via Hood Films

1.Remember when Ricky (Morris Chesttnut)got Shot in Boys in the Hood and he took a piss right before that? That was my back gate he pissed on.

2.Remember the house Jada Pickett lived in Menace to Society? That was across the street from my Elementary School.

3.Remember in White Men Can’t Jump when Wesley and his wife are looking to upgrade to a new house ? It was just 1.5 blocks from our house. Every house was a California bungalow or craftsman so they look very unique because architectural details were often maintained.

4.Remember in Love and Basketball they both Monica and Q play for Crenshaw in High School? I also dated a star basketball player from Crenshaw.

5.Also do you remember in White Men Can’t Jump when Wesley meets with the Tile Salesman at Oki Dog? That place was one block from my grandmother’s house. So I would always try and get her to take me there. I can’t believe I used to want a burrito filled with hotdogs, chili and cheese.

6.Remember in Traning Day when Denzel goes to see his child in the hood. Well that was in Jungles near my other elementary school. The Jungles were considered very dangerous as it was a bunch of cheap apartments right on top of one another. Lots of drug dealing but I never felt unsafe around there but I would watch my back a little bit more after passing King Blvd.

7.Remember in The Wood when they go into the 7-11 to get breath mints….well that was like the only 7-11 in all of the hood. Seriously there aren’t very many. In fact I think “The Wood” has 2 and that’s all we get.

I am truly a heathen.

Today was condom distribution day once again. So we were walking around a shopping center handing out condoms since it was raining today. I hand one to this brother and he hesitates on taking it. I tell him if he doesn't need it maybe someone else he knows does. So he walks away with it and brings it back a few minutes later and says "I wanted to give this back since I won't need it and someone else might." How nice of you "such a fine specimen of a running back with a squeezable booty."

We continue to hand out condoms and we run into him and his companion again. We thanked him again for returning the package. He stops and talks to us more about what we are doing. He asks us if we ever promote abstinence since that is the only sure fway to not get HIV. So we rap a taste about different things and we have some good laughs. Something tips me off that he is a man of God. So I asked him if he was a part of a ministry. He tells me he goes to the church up the way and I joke with him about the church causing ungodly amounts of traffic on Sundays.

Now I have only been to church twice in the last 5 years. In my lust, I seriously contemplated attending this church sometime soon. Not to catch a sermon but to catch a glimpse of this fine man again. Generally people invite folks to their churches or say "you should attend" but I'm sure he read the message across my boobs "There is no religion but sex & music." signed, Sting. Thus I wasn't invited to church.

This is also not my first foray into trying to corrupt men of God. (I may have posted these stories before but I don't care, lol.)_The first time was in college when another fine specimen of a man walked into the sanctuary and there was only one seat left in the church that wasn't on the first row. So I assumed I could point him to it. I see him looking around so I try to flag him over. He walked right up to the front row. Damn Damn Damn. I figured I'd try and talk to him after church or something. Well before the service was over he was introduced as a minister in training. Well goodness gracious. So after church he actually walks up to me because he said that he recognized from school. How had I not seen this man on campus? It was an awkward chat as I was nervous that he was coming up to me. I was kind of curt with him but, I should have been more friendly because being a first lady sounds like a cush job.

The 2nd time this happened I was attending a pentecostal church for the first time. They had these praise singers and one of them looked aight. He was a tad too mixed looking for my taste. When church was over and I was leaving he ran through the crowd just like OJ running through the airport to try and talk to me before I left. Then I attended a gospel concert in the park and I was having a hard time finding my friends in the crowd. So I ran into him and his mom and just shared a blanket with him. So we exchanged numbers and emails and what not. So we were sorta kinda talking to each other but he too was a minister in training. So we could never get anything popping off because he was trying to stay on the straight and narrow. Me not so much.

"Hey JP you are so tall when you really get into singing I get nervous because you always look like you are going to bump your head."

"Aisha how do you even notice that? You should be deep in prayer and worship and not paying attention to me."

Whoomp Whoomp Whoomp

He probably prayed a lot to take the temptation named Aisha away. One day at work I was talking to a coworker about the situation and I mentioned his full name since it's of french origin, very unique and sexy. My coworker starts screaming so I'm thinking she saw a rat run by us or something. No here I am talking to her about her cousin. Well it all ended right there. His mom was white how was I to know he was Haitian? Well yeah his name but I thought his mom might be French or something.

Someone asked me the other day if I still get tempted. My answer was obviously yes but I would never act on it but I was truly having some visions earlier today. Whole "flicks" running through my mind as we talked. We were talking about sex...I mean sexual health the whole time. So the words, penis, vagina, head, cigar & blue dress were sprinkled in the conversation.

Clearly I need the Lord. I can't even go into his house without lusting over someone. The church the guy was talking about actually has a webcast....yeah I went to their website and looked through the photos, lol. Maybe I'll catch a webcast so I can see what the church is about. I'm serious I won't be scanning the crowd for the dude...well I'll try not to.

Lots of Random Things

I forget what it's like to be a teen sometimes until I get to talking to the girls at the afterschool program.

1) The Senior who got the "itis" so bad that I hope that the colleges don't rescind their offers.

2) The sophmore whose mother died of cancer and now her family is split up.

3) The sophmore who has a 21 year old man trying to talk to her and she tells me he wants her to be involved in some questionable things of a sexual nature. He's also been to jail three times.

The first two will probably work themselves out but the 3rd I'm feeling the need to intervene. So I'm trying to get her a job that will involve her spending 8 hours a month with me. So it's kinda like she will be getting paid to be my mentee. Hopefully that all works out.

I have to question when something positive happens


So my uncle and I have never really had a relationship. If I went to my grandmothers or my dad's and he happened to be around we might chat for 5 minutes. So I basically would see him for 5 minutes once a year. No calls or anything in between.

So 3 years ago in that 5 minutes I tell him I have to buy a new car. I get back home and there is an envelope from him with check for the down payment.It was odd because in over 27 years he'd never given me anything. Not even a few bucks for the ice cream truck. I thanked him profusely for the check.


So now he calls me every so often, like once a quarter and that 5 minutes has turned into 1 hour every time I'm home. So he called two weeks ago when I changed my number he called again today. So I should be ecstatic that we are building a relationship now but something feels so strange about it.

How to make your own Lean Cuisine

So at first I was just trying to get my sexy back. Now I have to figure out how to make my food taste good without adding a lot of salt. I also spend a ton of money on food and I need to cut that out. My savings account is larger than it’s ever been but I know I could trim back even more.

So I’ve been trying to take my lunch but I’m so lazy I can’t seem to get it together. So instead of sitting in the bed listening to NPR I got up and made breakfast and packed a lunch while I listened to the news. So I got this great idea for making my own Lean Cuisine.

1/2 cup frozen brown rice
6 medium frozen cooked shrimp
3/4 cup of frozen asparagus tips
1 smashed clove of garlic
2 ½ TBSP of low-sugar orange marmalade (no artificial sweetener)
1 TBSP rice wine vinegar
1 TSP sesame oil
Black Pepper
2 frozen ice cubes of chicken broth

Place all of this is a microwaveable plastic dish. While it sits in the fridge at work all the ingredients will start to defrost. Microwave with a top on for 3 minutes or so (you just have to figure that part out). Mix it all up and you have a yummy healthy meal. You might have to adjust the flavoring to your liking. I’d even say add a little soy sauce but I can’t eat that.

I have a pretty decent pantry so it’s a little easier for me to throw stuff together. Also chicken broth only lasts a couple days in the fridge so if I know I’m not going to use the whole carton I just freeze it into ice cubes and have them on hand.

It's not really about being fat.

So I'm sure we've all looked at people who were obese and thought things about them. Thinking they are so unhealthy ecetera. However, what if all the tests say everything is okay? No diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholestrol.

Then there is me. Always trying to get B to be more active because his size signals to me he might be unhealthy. Then I go to the doctor to find out I have high blood pressure. I'm the one who exercises all the time and tries not to eat processed foods. I'm the one trying desperately to get fit and stay fit. I'm doing all the things I should and none of it seems to matter.

So now I have to give up more than ever before. I now understand why father appears to eat a tasteless diet. He probably had this same moment I'm having. No more pickles and olives. No more bacon, not even turkey bacon. No more bloody Mary's. No more lunch meat. Who really wants to eat low salt peanut butter?

Get Money

So I keep wondering should I buy a condo to live in until I walk down the aisle because I'm not one for shacking up. However, it seems silly because I probably wouldn't live in all that long but I guess there is rental income potential.

I also have a friend who wants to buy something in my neighborhood. So she asked me to help her figure out the market. You can look up the tax assessment values of a property but they are usually a little lower than what the market rates are.

So I just google my address and up pops a document of area revilization. In this document it talks about the revilization on my neighborhood. So I know for sure my landlord was able to get the place I am renting through one of those first time buyes low income specials. Let me remind you that low income in DC is like 62K. So in the document it says the place was sold for 150K. She I know she is renting it illegally because she told us that she had to wait three years to rent it but her daughter needed her to live with her fo the next couple of years and then she would move back in. So in essence she's pimping the system hard. We are paying more than three times her mortgage to rent this place. She got the place well below market rates and is renting for market rate. I can't begrudge anyone getting money but damn.

The lady below us treats us like renters. It pisses me off even more because now I know what her mortgage payment is roughly. So she always has a roomate which means they are probably paying her mortgage for her. So she needs to get off her high horse because we I could pay her mortgage and then some. She treats us like we are some poor stupid renters.

For the better part of three days I've been stuck at home hacking and coughing. I thought I would clean up or read but I managed not to do anything. But I don't want to talk about being sick I hate it. The good news is that I finally found a doctor. I'm so excited to go in at the end of the month. Time to finally face the facts about some of my health problems.

But I really want to talk about mommy syndrome. I know that little kids love me because of my hair. I think it excites them when I really think I should scare them. Part of me wants to know what excites them so. Generally I expect children to point and stare and say "Mommy look at the funny lady." But on at least two occasions children have tried to get out of their high chairs at restaurants to come to my table. In one case the mom got sick of the kid and just pushed him over to eat at my table. He sat there played with the pancakes and was cool when he was with me. The same thing happens at grocery stores, kids trying to get out of their shopping carts. Then there are the random kids who run up and squeeze my legs saying "mommy". I stand there dumbfounded like "umm who's kid is this?"

It really bothers me because I try to pretend like I hate kids. But I guess it's not true. But I have not idea why children find me that interesting, ready to abandon their mothers and run of into the world with me. A stranger. Ninety percent of the time they are white children. Do I remind them of their Black nannies? Or am I around white children 90% of the time?

I've been told I have motherly instincts but I say it's all hogwash. However, my bestfriend is pregnant and I had the answer to every question that husbands asks. How much is a car seat? Do we need to get a bigger car? What about diaper services. I seem to have all the answers. I guess that's what happens when you've been an Aunt since 5. So I've said all this so say...ha ha...to say *shrug*

Oh also let me plug my new favorite blog: postbourgie.com

One post a month? Wow this is really piss poor.

So in today's news...

I sat in a meeting for 6 hours with wet pants. I had to drive to a meeting and I spilled a bottle of water on my crotch. Oh joy.

Can I say I'm going to have more bike clothing than regular clothing very soon? It's no fun being sweaty in regular clothing. It makes it so uncomfortable.

I also lost 8lbs in February. I need to make sure I keep it up for March.

This year there are so many weddings happening. I can't wait to help everyone celebrate their love.

Getting Things Done

On a general weekend I get nothing done. I say I'm gonna take care of this or that but it never happpens. Well today I accomplished the following things.

1. Dropped off Dry Cleaning
2. Dropped off donations to Goodwill
3. Replaced my license and renewed my registration (2 damn hours)
4. Handled some over due personal gromming
5. Picked up my prescription and that much needed pack of toilet paper
6. Picked up the dry cleaning I dropped off this morning

I know it doesn't seem like a lot to some people but on a general weekend I might do one of the 6. Tomorrow I hope to accomplish about 2 big task around the house and pick up a couple of things from the mall but I doubt I'll do it all. But I'm about to play hard tonight. I'm going to attempt to go out with my girl tonight after a dinner.