Operation Stunna Shades

This week I have been trying an experiment. I bought some sunglasses that are more glamourous than I am. They aren't expensive but they have that star quality eventhough I purchased them in Rocky Mount, NC. They have been nicknamed my "Stunna Shades". Don't know what a stunna is...well think about David Blaine the stunt artist. Why does he do all those crazy things? Just to show off. So for this spring and summer i'm a Stunna and "i'm bout to show off".

I've been trying to reduce the number of people who feel it is okay to randomly talk to me. First I tried headphones but my hair is so big they never realize that I have headphones on. I don't like people thinking I really can't hear them because that's how people get attacked and purses stolen.

This week I started Operation "Stunna Shades". I'm testing the hypothesis that wearing these sunglasses makes me look unaproachable and less men will aproach me. It's Wednesday and the only thing that has happened is a hiss which was ignored because when you have Stunna Shades it means you can't hear it. Also the first day I didn't wear them in the metro but I noticed that other women do. So I started wearing them in the metro but it feels weird because it's kind of dark down there and they aren't needed to block the sun anymore. However, If I want to maximize the effect of Operation Stunna Shades I have to wear them whenever I am outside my home which includes the metro. Yesterday I even read my Metro free paper with the Stunna Shades on. However, the point of the Stunna Shades is make people think that you have lost all your senses as soon as the glasses go on. So I guess I can't read on the train or it negates the point of my operation. I'm going to continue to keep track of this especially as the big, bulky, winter clothing comes off.

Since Operation Stunna Shades is going so well I don't have a "How not holla." Sadly, something much worse happened today. I went to work pretty late today so there were plenty of seats on the metro. I rarely sit down because I only go two stops. I sat down today and a short porty man in his signature red and black TGIF friday uniform moves towards the pole near me. There were plenty of other places to stand or sit but he chose to stand right in front of me. I previously had been staring at the floor but when he got close I rose my head up to eye level. At eye level, I noticed that he was tenting, he had a hard on. At that moment I was secretly hoping that my Stunna Shades truly did turn off all my senses

Finally I have returned...

I wrote a couple of posts that disappeared into the blogger graveyard. I'm sure they were both funny, witty and fabulous but I have no idea what they were. Only thing I really remember is the "How not to holla" that happened to me two weeks ago. In summary I was told "I'm so happy to be able to stand next to you."

Now for the more current events! I am working with a group on the HIV/AIDS epidemic in DC. Today we held a discussion group about social factors that lead to HIV. There was this group of men from a community based organization there. A few of them were in my group and we had a lively discussion. One in particular J had the Gary Dourdan look. His arms were very muscular and they accented his tattoo just right. So after the formal discussion I asked them where they were from. They were all currently in a drug treatment program. *record scratch*.

I know this is pretty ignorant of me but I completely buy into the stereotype about drug users who have problems serious enough to warrant enrolling into a program. I'm basically reminded the drooling crack head who tried to kiss me 4 years ago. There were no outward signs that they were in drug treatment program and I would have never figured out they were former users if I hadn't asked. All the points they were making were on point and I learned a few things about drug and gun policy from them.

So after that knowledge I looked at J differently. I shouldn't have been looking that hard to be begin with. I started looking at his arms to see if there were track marks. I can get a little out of control with my stereotypes. As he was leaving he reminded me that his phone number was on his sign in sheet. I giggled to myself.

I needed the reminder about not judging a book by its cover as this is something I am really struggling with right now. I'm trying to make more authentic contact with people who aren't like me. I think I can learn a lot and get over some of the "isms" I hold.

Blogger ate my last two post. So I'll be back with something after this business trip. Toodles!

Today in Sports

I just returned from the Wizards vs. Warriors game. My old boss from two years ago called me to let me know that if I was available that a friend and I could join him in his company's box. Being new to Washington, I took the chance to go and see my new favorite team live. I wasn't going to pass it up. I called a few of my guy friends that I knew were sports fans but they weren't available. Then I remembered that G was from Oakland and of course he would be down to see the Warriors.

Sitting in the box was great. Someone had already set it out with hotdogs, salad, chips and chicken finger. Well that's really not settin' out but you know, free is free! It was unfortunate that this was my vegetarian week and I got side tracked already by the chicken fingers. Then "The Giant", 7 ft 7in, Gheorghe Muresan stopped by to hang with us for a second. I got to catch up with G and J and that was great. You know how I like to talk.

Just when we thought the game is over with just .1 seconds and down three points the wizards draw a foul. It was a pretty uneventful game but we now had a chance to tie the game. Then the coach for the Warriors said something that caused a technical. With this turn of events Agent Zero was able to come through in the clutch to shoot 3 free throws to win the game. The crowd went wild! In other news my boo boo got a couple of fouls in the first five minutes so he wasn't really in the game too much.

Now for the Faux Pas of the game:
They start playing Rich Boy's "Throw some D's" and I comment how the NBA can play the popular hip hop songs but then blame hip hop for everything that's wrong. G listens to underground hip hop so he doens't know who Rich Boy is. So I say "Well it's really funny because he looks like he has Down Syndrome." Then I quickly remember that there are two kids sitting in the box with us who have Down Syndrome. Add one to the loss column for me.

The "How not to holla" of the day:
I got behind schedule and I ended up driving the mile to the Verizon Center because I knew I could get my gym to validate my parking. Now today is the first time in a long time that I have worn my hair down. I guess I was looking extra fabulous or something (well this is what I'm telling myself). I luck up and get a parking space on the street one block from the arena. I get out the car and this dude is sitting on the hydrant and I think I hear him say "Wow you got lucky." I thought he was talking about my parking space. I turn around and say "Yeah I'm really lucky." He replies "Yeah your man sho' is lucky." Then I snapped out of my parking mojo induced haze and realize he's commenting on me.

I keep walking and start to wonder how efficient his process is. I am very well aware that some men play the numbers game. Talk to as many women as possible hoping one will bite. If you are going to talk to women on the street don't talk to the ones who are walking fast. Based on the law of averages she's in a hurry and not going to stop to speak to you. We are even less likely to speak to the guy sitting on the fire hydrant in front of Fuddruckers. I've said it once and I'll say it again. There are some people who are just not on my level. Give them a shower and a job sure but in thier current state it's not going to happen.

Comment Comment Comment


I want us all to say NO to white tights! After being away from DC for two years I forgot how truly fashioned challenged people are. I see way too many adult women in white tights and stockings. It's really ugly and sad on top of it all. If you are my friend and you own white tights please say goodbye to them or I will have to say goodbye to you. I only hang with fly people. I'm err umm kidding...maybe.



I'm also trying to figure out exactly how this type of pose protects your hair from the rain. Yesterday the rain came a bit earlier than expected and a few people were caught off gaurd. I saw various black women running from the rain in this pose. If I were them I would have caught a cab or walked into the CVS they just passed and got a cheap umbrella. I remember what it was like to make sure your hair stayed on point.



Now what do these things have in common? Usually nothing but at the gym this white blonde woman with bone straight hair was combing her hair with a afropic. It was the oddest things I had seen in a very long time. She didn't have a sign of kink so I wanted to inquire about her choice.

I was talking to this woman and half way through the conversation she zipped up her jacket. That's because I was staring at her boobs. It was unintentional and I felt bad that I mad her uncomfortable. The problem is that this happened several times recently. The thing is that I don't even realize that I'm doing it until they cover themselves. It comes partly from me not liking to make eye contact with people. I try to stare somewhere close to the face so they think I am looking at their face.

I don't want people to mistake me for a lesbian. I don't need that kind of confusion in my life. This all might contradict that fact that I have a crushes on Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansen but they are "flat chested" so that's different.

I've had my Macbook for 5 days now and I'm extremely happy with the purchase. The Apple online store had them refurbished for $899 or I could have bought a new one for $1199. I looked at another dell and with a warranty they would have run me $1200. I couldn't really see what a PC could offer me besides windows Vista.

What I did was buy a refurbished Macbook with a warranty, 160GB external drive, and a usb hub for $1200. If I bought anything new I would have paid much more for all of it. I couldn't be happier. Now I just have to find a software hook up. Now I am able to have my entire music collection on my hip since I'm not dealing with an overpacked hard drive. It's been a long time coming.

So Mac or PC? I would say Mac there are so many things that are easier. Things aren't buried way deep in a directory you don't know that exist. It's far more intuitive to way I think. There are only a few keyboard shortcuts that are different. It's just beautiful to gaze upon as well.

So the scales have shifted on my undying love for the east coast. People ask me how I deal with the weather and I always reply how snow is very pretty or something to that effect. Well today I realize I deal with the weather because I never reallly have to deal. I've never shoveled snow and until today I never had to deal with major snow removal on a car. Well right now I'm sitting here hoping that my roomate comes home with wine because I need to relax. I spent the last 45 minutes cleaning off two cars. Now I didnt have to do the second one but like a good roomate I cleaned off the car she is taking care of for her friend who is going through chemo. Now this was about 3 solid inches of ice I banged my way through. This wasn't ice scraping this was brute force. It was quite dangerous as massive pieces of ice came crashing down to the ground unexpectedly. I know my wrists will hurt tomorrow the way my shoulders and upper back do right now. In the morning the nex challenge will be getting out of my parking space. Thank God I don't have to park on the street. I hear people out there now struggling to get out.

Fortunately I came in the house and I turned on Itunes and low and behold....my neighbors music is showing up in my itunes. I didn't realize that my wireless connection was on another network. So I just listed to Corrine Bailey Rae and I don't care for her music. I listened to it because I could. I say if you don't want anyone else in your files don't leave them open. Nothing beats the Beastie Boys Paul's Boutique.

Snow Day!

Not! I could stay home but my computer is broken. So I have to go to
work to get my abstract in. If it wasnt for that I would stay right
here and do all my calls from bed. However I think I will leave early
and spend the rest of the day with my other. This would have been a
good cuddle boo day. We have never celebrated vday before. The last
time I celebrated I went on a blindish date with one of the regular
readers of this blog. He gave me a bottle of Reisling. My new Macbook
arrives tomorrow and I can't wait.

It finally happened. I knew this day would come. I never knew how I would handle it. I've dreaded this day but I knew it would happen. He opened his mouth and let it out, his British accent. I finally heard the man speak in his native tongue. It's so not sexy; repulsive even. Stringer Bell will you ever comeback to me?

(blogging on the blackberry is not the move...thus the initial typos)

This weekend I attended a party full of debauchery. I haven’t attended a party with this particular bunch of friends in a minute. So I decided to grace them with my presence. Every one was shocked that I showed up and someone said “It’s official now that you’re here.” Then another person inquired if “my man was around.” He wasn’t but I thought it was hilarious that this was their first statement after saying hello. I got there kind of late, fashionably late I thought, but it seemed that everyone was very intoxicated when I showed up. There were no more mixers really just Bacardi galore so I new I would be impaired shortly. I drank, danced, and entertained myself and those around me. In true fashion when I drink I can’t shut up. Just imagine this combined with having the hiccups. It was terrible even with my chest spasm induced interruptions every 10 seconds, I continued to blab on….and on…and on…..and on. I’m sorry for all of you who endure my blabbering. I'm not embarrasaed about it or anything it's just what I do.

At the end of night, my significant other called and asked me to pick him up from a restaurant because the train had stopped running. He gets in the car and I tell him how much fun I had. Then I exclaim “I didn’t even rub my butt on anyone. You can ask everybody.” I was so proud of myself! I didn’t try not to dance with other people I just never got around to it . I only need myself to have a good time.

The next morning I went to brunch with the roomie at a new place on U Street, Creme. The food was delicious and I can’t be mad at the bottomless mimosas. I highly recommend the brunch. The service wasn’t great but the waiter did everything he could to get the kitchen to get their act together.

The Super Bowl party I went to was decent. I was really tired at that point though and could barely stay awake during the second half. It was a good game and I’m happy for Tony Dungy. The low lights were the three patronizing “We are making Black History (Month)” commercials. The entire audience of about 60 people I viewed the game with were all annoyed with that string of commercials.

Lastly, who names their son Lovie? I hope he’s named after his grandfather or something.

I'm nursing a strange hangover. I woke up fine but after putting
together this ikea chair I feel sick. This is really strange. I cant
be sick on superbowl sunday.

So I might be on a bit of hiatus. I was working long hours for the last week so I had nothing to report. Actually just not a enough time to talk about clogging the toilet and going to home depot at 6:30am. My computer was damaged during a work related event so I won't have much access for at least a month as I work it out with them. It will cost $500 to replace the mother board. So I might not be able to blog that much. I'm working on setting up mobile blogging in the mean time. I guess I will be a "crackberry" addict for a bit.

Here I sit typing away on my blackberry. This is what happens when you
work 14 hour days and during the process your laptop breaks.

Complicit


When you find out your friend is cheating on their mate what do you do? I'm conflicted right now and I rather not know it's happening. I'm not friends with the mate but I do have respect for the person. It's hard for me to sit back and just watch. I really wish the person was smart enough to keep it on the hush ( i can't say DL anymore). Actually I think they tried to but I believe the person they are cheating with needs validation and keeps doing things in front of other people. I plan to do nothing because I already know shit will hit the fan because one of the people in this scenario is crazy...off their rocker. I just wish I wasn't being made to be complicit. When their mate comes to town I have to lie (by omission) like things are all good. I'm surprised that this makes it uncomfortable as it does.

Every woman needs a gay boyfriend

Finally, not that I was looking I found a gay boyfriend. I don't consider myself a fag hag (or fruit fly) in any way. I don't go out searching for them or anything that blatant. When they come into your life it's a blessing. I was lucky enough to spend four days with this wonderful man. He's orginally from DC but now lives in MD. We have the same sense of humor, he loves to dance, and we both love to shop. What more do I need? We are going to see Alvin Ailey next so that should be wonderful! I'm so happy to have met someone I totally clicked with. He's just a cool dude. Now everyone refers to him as my "gay boyfriend". Two boyfriends....I think I can handle that.

Adams Morgan

I haven't been there at night time in a very long time, years I don't think. Yesterday I met up with my friend from UNC and we went to Felix. An extremely cute and smooth latino dude talked with me at the bar and I loved the attention. It was really funny because I was going to find him to dance later because he just had that much "umph". Later on he starts having this thing with this other short light skinned black girl and I was like "the hell". She's stealing "my man (attention) yo"! It was just hilarious my reaction to that situation. My friend even was trying to play wing woman knowing that it was futile. I think if I was "on the prowl" I would have thought he was sleazy. Knowing it wouldn't go anywhere I could soak up thebrief attention.

Now Adams Morgan really isn't my scence and Felix used to be filled with a lot of pretentious trash. As usual in Adams Morgan things have changed. They had four floors two of which were great. One had a great DJ playing good music where I danced my little heart out. Then there was a lounge area with a band that was great. I would return to Felix on a Saturday.

I took this guys number and I thought I gave him mine but I think I got myself out of that one. I really don't recall giving it to him. I told him that I've been in a long term relationship but he insisted. I have no intentions of anything. I haven't figured out how to make platonic male friends in DC. It seems impossible when I'm so used to having them. It's just so weird.

Now I'm sure some of you probably think "B must get sick of you flirting and giving your number out." He really doesn't care because he knows me pretty well. He knows i'm a punk sometimes. So he laughs at me I'm sure the same way you all do when you read these stories.

Right now my face is all sorts of tones, patches, scales and flakes. I’m not sure what is going on. I’m feeling ugly for the first time in my life. A lot of people have self esteem issues and will never feel beautiful on the outside. I usually feel beautiful on the outside but not right now. I basically look like I haven’t washed my face or can’t afford moisturizer or something. So no matter how fly my outfit is, it just doesn’t matter when you have a crusty face. I’m going to the doctor tomorrow so hopefully they will do something about it.

I think my fiercely dry skin is giving a certain class of men a little confidence. My percentage of hollas from the “I wear a fake NorthFace bomber jacket no matter the weather crowd” has increased about 70%. They are probably wearing T-Skirts under them too. I don’t care what people say…I am very out of their league. The normal professional dude hollas have disappeared.

I’m kind of a classist in some respects but I try my hardest to at least be friendly to everyone. Although I pegged him for the purse snatching type, I made the mistake of having a musical discussion with a guy on the train platform the other day. I was just being friendly I thought. I didn’t see that he would try to “get to know me better” by the end of the conversation. . I couldn’t convince him that he didn’t want to know me so I gave him my home phone number. I never answer the phone.

A week passes and I use my home phone to call GEICO to change my insurance. I hung up with them and the phone was still in my hand and it rings again. So I answer it. It’s him. He starts talking to me and I’m like who is this since he never asked to speak to anyone. He said he was looking for Isabel and I told him he had the wrong number. He insisted that he really didn’t know my name but he knew it was me because of the way I talk. I tried damn hard to get him to hang up but I ended up hanging on him. The phone rings over and over but we don’t have caller id so I have to assume it was him. After two hours of calling he finally left a message asking me to call him back.. I wouldn’t have done that anyway but I couldn’t because I don’t have his number.

I need to learn to be firmer but I’ve seen dudes do some terrible things to girls for giving out fake numbers etc. Some men get their egos bruised so easily. This morning I saw and example of what I was supposed to do. I guy tried to talk to a girl when she didn’t respond he tapped her arm. She said “Don’t touch me” in a firm voice and kept it moving. I’ll try that next time.

RIP Momofuku Ando

Creator of Top Ramen and other Nissin instant ramen products dies at 96. For some reason I feel this man is very important and deserves a space in my blog. He shaped my childhood somewhat...it was one of the few bad foods my mother allowed in the house. A lot of us ate it in college. Where would we be without his man? (in better health certainly but...)

Today my one of my best friends called me today. We only talk a couple of times a year but it doesn't matter because we are friends of quality and not quantity. I blatantly sat at my desk and talked to her for 30 mins while my boss kept walking by me handing me stuff. I simply didn't care. We caught up on so much stuff. She's one person who really knows me and even where we differ, she accepts me fully. We usually spend the holidays together and she and her husband are like my second family. She has been there to console me through many wack dudes and the crazy family antics around my mothers death. Even 3000 miles way I know she'll always be there for me. I also forgot that I gave her the link to this blog so she read but she needs to start commenting.

It got me thinking about all the predictions you make about your future lives. We predicted who would get married first:

College Predictions: Aisha, Sher, Jen
Results: Sher, Jen, ....Aisha's still waiting

High School Predictions: Aisha, Lisa, Quynh, Michelle
Results: Lisa, Quynh,...Michelle would be married if it wasn't for superstitous in-laws, Aisha's still waiting.

It's funny what you think will happen but life has other plans for you. We always sit around (drinking) laughing at these predictions. I was at the top of everyone's list because I dated more than anymore else. I guess I just love trail and error. For a little while (like 24hrs) I was stressing being last but really, I enjoy my life so what does it matter? I think women are socialized to have this artificial sort of competiton. It's reallys stupid and pointless.